Back to December
by Wallace the cat
Summary: "I'd go back to December Harry, I would... but I can't" Hermione blurted out, "I can't keep this to myself anymore, I know that what I did is unforgivable" A Taylor Swift song fic about Hermione and Harry's relationship. Please give it a shot :


**Back to December**

"I'm not sure if I can do this" Hermione gulped, looking at her best friend for who-knows-how-long, she must admit, the red head looks dashing tonight

"I WILL hex you if you don't get your arse out there" Ron said, looking all serious, he shook his head, he wanted this, he wanted things to be back to the way it is, he can't stand anymore of this, he knew both them are suffering through this "This is your fault 'Mione, you have to make it right" He said calmly

Hermione sighed and looked down, she was scared, she knew a few months ago she made the worst mistake of her life... which is, letting go her one true love, _Harry Potter._

After a few months of total separation, no communication at all, she's back and she knew she misses him, and there's so many things that she wanted to say to Harry, but she just doesn't know how...

"Please perform, 'Mione, you have to do this" Ron begged... yes, perform

"hey sweetie" Ron's mother greeted her, hugging her tightly "You look so gorgeous, America's been treating you well hasn't it" Molly said grinning at her. _If only you knew,_ it was the worst 8 months of her life

"Mom, can Hermione sing tonight? After all, this is her welcome back party" Ron said smiling

"well of course dearie," She grinned happily, transforming an old rug into a small stage, she stepped up and clapped her hands together "Hello everyone, I hope you're all having a good time, we have an unexpected performance tonight, our very own Hermione Granger wants to perform a song tonight" She smiled,

Everyone clapped happily... everyone but him

"I won't take precious time, go on Hermione" Molly smiled, stepping off, Hermione threw a disturbed look to Ron, who just rolled his eyes and pushed her onto the stage

"hey...uhm...hello" To that people laughed "uh... yeah... you're all probably thinking, what is that bookworm doing? Singing? She's not a singer... well I am not... but I can say i've been practicing.. in america... uhm, this song is really special for me... and I hope you all like it" She said, her gaze is still focused on the floor, afraid she'll catch the boy-who-lived's eyes

She took a deep breath and started to sing

**I'm so glad you made time to see me  
How's life, tell me how's your family**  
**I haven't seen them in a while**

**You've been good, busier then ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why  
**

"_Are you alright 'Mione?" Ginny asked sympathetically, she was so happy that her bestest girl friend is back in England, they went months without talking to each other, it wasn't delightful "It's Harry isn't it..."_

"_Is he happy...?" Hermione asked, avoiding her gaze_

"_I don't think so" She said "He's been really busy, he spent all his time working..." Ginny said, she was about to continue but someone cut her off_

"_Ginny, your brother's looking for you and-" Harry stopped dead, the love of his life is back...in front of him, looking prettier than ever_

"_Harry..." Hermione choked... it was an uncomfortable silence, Ginny can't find a way to break it, she felt paralyzed.. "how...are you" They both feel a pang of pain rushing in their veins... how can she ask him that question as if nothing had happened?_

"_I don't know..." He said truthfully, "I have to go" he said while rushing away_

**'Cause the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die  
**

_Harry was excited, tonight's the night, he's finally going to propose to the girl that he's crazily madly in love with_

_But for Hermione... tonight's the night she's going to break her heart, she knew about Harry's plan, she knew that Harry's going to propose to her, and... yes she loves him more than anything, but she's scared... she's scared that it's going to move too fast_

_A million thoughts going through her head, and she can't let Harry suffer, what if in the end she realizes that she doesn't want Harry...? That's going to crush him, and until she gets her feelings straight, she can't date him, let alone marry him, she's so scared_

_But she have to end this and she have to move away, she needs time to be on her own, be independent and free and she needs to get her feelings straight, and before she knew it, she's standing eye-to-eye with him_

"_Harry..." She said unsure_

"_Hermione... you're so beautiful" He said, cupping one of her cheek, leaning in to kiss her, she just turned so he missed and ended up kissing her cheek "What's wrong..."_

"_Uhm..."_

_"I bought you roses by the way" He said giving her the beautiful rose bouquet, she accepted the rose, still unsure,_

"_Harry... we have to end this.."_

"_End...what?" He asked hurt_

"_Harry, we need to end our relationship"_

"_What? Why, what's going on, Hermione" He yelled, tears filling in his eyes_

"_I don't know what's going on myself... but Harry, it's over...please don't make this harder for me...goodbye" Hermione said, refusing to let a single tear fall. He was too confused, angry, pained, hurt, and sad to even say a word, he just took a step back and apparated back to his place_

_He was hurt, deeply, he couldn't stop crying, it wasn't manly at all, but right now he doesn't even care, the best thing in his life was gone..._

_He didn't sleep at all. All he wanted is to rush back to Hermione's and demand to speak with her, he can't let this be, he needs- he deserve to know what's going on, but when he came back_

_Her flat was empty, there's not a single thing in her flat but a rose... the rose that he gave her the night before_

**So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right  
I go back to December all the time**

**These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call**

_Hermione opened her eyes, she looked around, she was in an unfamiliar room, it was grey and light blue, it's definitely not her room_

"_Tom?" She questioned the tall guy whose back is facing her, soon he turned, it was indeed her 18 year old neighbor whose been looking after her ever since she moved to America, even though he's a muggle, he took a pretty good care of the witch_

"_Hermione... I swear- How can you be older than me? You're SO careless, you can't take care of yourself- I swear, UGH" But in the end he hugged her anyways "I'm so scared" He said, finally pulling away from her_

"_What happened?" Hermione asked_

"_You passed out, that's WHAT happened, I told you to go to sleep, WHY Can't you just close your eyes and sleep?"_

"_I slept...I-"_

_"Don't bother Hermione, the doctor examined you, he told me you probably haven't slept for days—maybe even weeks, I don't even know..." He kept on rambling, Hermione just rested her head on the pillow, true, she haven't sleep in weeks, she didn't even know how she can get through with it_

_She kept ogling on her ceiling, playing back herself leaving her flat, leaving that beautiful bouquet on the floor, she can't forget Harry's face, the pain she caused him... it was the worst feeling ever, even worst than the feeling when she was crucio'd by Bellatrix_

"_Are you listening to me?" Tom said crossing his arm_

"_What's today?"_

"_Uhm... friday, why?"_

"_No...the date"_

"_Oh, 31st July...and again, why...wait..."_

"_Should I wish him happy birthday, Tom?" Hermione asked, unsure_

"_I would say yes... but only you can answer that question..." She sighed... no... she can't do it, and if she sent him a happy birthday owl, he'll hurt even more, she can't do it_

**And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,  
Realized I loved you in the fall  
**

They have so many moments together, the beautiful summer they spent in a lake house by them selves, the beautiful birthday surprise party Hermione arranged for him in the lake house

And when the fall came, she finally said the L word to him, she finally admits that she loves him

"_HARRY" Hermione whined, he kept laughing "You pushed me into raked leaves"_

"_It's not that bad Hermione" He smiled, Hermione smirked_

"_Then you try lying down on it" She said, pulling her wand out and pulling him to the raked leaves_

"_You're right, it's uncomfortable" He said, everytime he moved, a leave broke, Hermione smiled and got on top of him_

"_Much better" She smiled, her eyes gazing into Harry's, she felt like the whole world is theirs, the time is theirs, and she never felt like this before, she felt like Harry's perfect for her, and she smiled, leaning into him and kissed him lightly "i love you" she whispered before kissing him again_

**And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye  
**

Everyone in the room was shocked, they all knew who the song was meant for, Harry listened to every single lyric, he felt like bursting into tears right now

**I miss your green eyes, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night,  
The first time you ever saw me cry  
**

_She was crying like crazy, she misses him so badly, she can't take it any longer, she's now sure that she can't live without Harry,_

_She just wished Harry would be putting his arms around her tightly and they'll end up sleeping in each other arms like in September night..._

_Harry's an auror, and he's an incredible one, but even the most incredible auror gets hurt, he did, he got hurt, and she felt helpless when she saw him in St. Mungo's, she burst out crying immediately, the first time he saw her cry after Voldemort died, he hugged her tightly and he didn't let her go_

**Maybe this is wishful thinking  
Probably mindless dreaming  
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right  
**

Hermione sang out, finally, FINALLY, her gaze met Harry's, she looked at him, her eyes gazing into his

**I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand  
**

The music starts to build up (by magic of course) and then she took a deep breath, she's mixing her own original song with Harry's favorite Muggle song

She knew that the song matched how he felt about this whole situation, it just hurts that he felt like this, but she knew it's only the truth

**And then he said it's too late to apologize**

**he said it's too late to apologize  
But this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
But it's too late  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time**

"I'd go back to December Harry, I would... but I can't" Hermione blurted out, "I can't keep this to myself anymore, I know that what I did is unforgivable" She sighed "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness... but I just want to get this off of my chest...Harry, I'm terribly hurt, I know you are too... and I don't know what to do..."

"Hermione..." He shook his head, taking steps closer to her "All you have to do is say yes" He said, going down on one knee and pulling out the beautiful gold ring with diamonds and rubies, for some reason he can't get rid of the ring, and now...he realizes why

"Oh my god Harry" Hermione cried, she nodded and kissed him passionately, he slipped the ring on her finger and finally pulled away from their kiss

"I forgave you Hermione, I can never be angry at you... no matter how pained or disturbed I am... I can't, I love you, and I never stopped loving you, I never will, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that song, that's the best apology wish you can ever give me... I don't want to pretend that I don't love you and spend who-knows-how-long without being your lover, I love you, I love you so much" He cried out, Hermione nodded and hugged him

"I never stopped loving you Harry, and I never will" she said, while crying "I've been missing you so much, and I promise I'll be a better lover now... I will never make the same mistake again...Harry, you're the most important thing in my life and spending the rest of our lives together, is just perfect" She smiled as he wiped the tears away "I love you"

"I love you" He said, finally kissing her again, not caring that everyone in the room was either crying happy tears for them or aww-ing or clapping for them

Just finally...

* * *

MY VERY FIRST FAN FIC, **VERY FIRST  
**I get that it's probably not that good, and I'm sorry for that, but I'm just really proud of it, so if you have any hate comments for me or this story, please be mean but subtle and soft... (?) Does that make sense?  
I have NO IDEA, Okay...uhm  
I'm sorry if I have grammatical problem or spelling problem or whatever, English IS my first and current language, but I'm pretty sure I mess up sometimes  
so...peace out and LOVE?  
Oh my gosh I'm so nervous, I hope people will read this and...comment, ahh  
I'm so nervous, what if no one likes this? What if no one reads this, well I just waste my time then, but oh my god, AHHH

Bye :D


End file.
